Lets first begin with settling the myth that co-sleeping is dangerous!!
Yes you have heard of babies smothering in their sleep whilst co sleeping with their parents but that is because of one of two things –
1. SIDS, which can happen to any child ( ironically babies who co sleep and are breastfed have a lesser chance of dying from SIDS)
2. The parents aren’t following safe co-sleeping guidelines.
I roll my eyes every time I hear of someone complaining of sleepless nights and how their baby just won’t “self soothe” in their cot. Babies cry for a reason, their communicating that something is WRONG. I put quotation marks in to show the stupidity of the words “self soothe”. There I did it again. Babies DON’T “self soothe” at all. That’s why they have PARENTS!! I just want to see a new mama feeling relaxed and at peace holding her little baby on her chest having skin to skin and getting a much needed rest knowing shes comforting and protecting her baby. Society needs to stop telling mothers that comforting and caring for their babies is going to make them spoiled little brats and bad citizens. Parents are put under so much pressure to have a baby that sleeps through the night or just sits there happy without being stimulated. Society just can’t accept that babies needs to cuddled and held close and feel protected.
I don’t know anyone who sleeps through the night, not even myself. I wake up for a drink or because I’m cold or too hot and I still wake up and feel scared of the monsters that are waiting to grab my foot if it sticks out of the duvet! So how can I expect my tiny little precious baby who spent nine months cuddled up inside my womb hearing my every word and the beating of my heart to fall asleep in a big airy cot in silence by himself!! We are so scared of what people think and worrying about the future that we don’t live in the present. No your child (hopefully 😉 ) won’t be still needing you to comfort them to sleep when their 20 years old or needing a comforting breastfeed before their driving test so stop worrying about “spoiling” you baby and just be in the present with them. One day your baby won’t be a baby but a curious energetic child and they will let you know that they are ready to transition to their own space and you’ll long for those squishy little cuddles.
My sleeping situation with my son was I had his cot in between my bed and the wall and with the side of his cot that would be against my bed taken off so it was a side car cot. I had the base on the highest level as that the level that would make his cot mattress flush with my mattress. I also had a big flat cot sheet that covered his mattress and also covered one quarter of mine so that it made both our mattresses one space. I tucked this sheet underneath my mattress cover so it stayed put. This set up was fantastic UNTIL he began crawling!! I did try lowering his cot which made his mattress lower than my mattress but he just crawled up onto my bed during the night so I decided to do some research and come up with a new setup.
The questions I wanted to know were – Is it time to move him to his own bed completely and sleep train him?, Is there any negative effects on him sleeping in my bed until hes ready to transition?, Is it harmful to put him into his own room or bed when hes not ready?.
So after some reading and trying to think of what I feel as his mother is right I decided that my bed is now the ” Family bed”. I turfed out the cot, pushed my bed up against the wall and got a bed rail for the other side and its been great. Children that co-sleep with an adult grow up to have more self-esteem and confidence and they have less fears. Babies and children who are left to cry themselves to sleep or fall asleep on their own have been found to have dangerous levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their systems.
My bed is not a sexual place like society has claimed it to be, my bed is a space for myself and my child and any future children to feel safe, protected, warm and comforted. Avery sleeps great when he’s beside me so why would I move him to his own room when he’s not ready. As you can see from the photo I’ve got a camera monitor above him so once he goes to bed I can still relax away from him but if he communicates to me through crying I will come to him. The world is a big scary place to a child but by giving my son a safe space to be comforted,nourished and a great nights sleep, he can find confidence to explore the world and realize what a wonderful place it is.
Maybe it’s time to stop and just listen to what our babies are trying to communicate to us.
Casey x
Boobs&Brunches 